Before & After

Let's have a quick look at the effects of traveling for 4 months. Before....

April

Just ignore the gurning. And after...

August

N-O-L-A NOLA

Butchering the lyrics just to achieve a rather spurious blog title from: Lola by The Kinks

New Orleans

On the bus from Austin to New Orleans I had to endure possibly the worst journey yet - Lethal Weapon 4 was being played. Give me back the brain damaged and the fat guys with Swastika tattoos any day. I do perhaps get an easier ride on the buses than a lot of people, and I think I have it pinned down to one reason - everybody hates the beard. Ignoring that I don't have any gear to trim it down, and despite all the insults and questions about shaving it off before I come home, I've kept at it, and besides, growing a traveler's beard is a rite of passage. But having this beard has led numerous times to me having two seats to meself on the bus and not having to provide a head support to some drooling convict (I should point out that this is a not a sweeping statement to imply that all Greyhound passengers are drooling convicts - I'm well aware that not all convicts drool).

Louis Armstrong Park

Got off the bus in New Orleans nice and early and headed over to my hostel to ensure I had somewhere to sleep and to figure out where I was and what was going on in the real world (or on Facebook). Couldn't check in until after 4pm but I could use the internet. After half an hour sat in the front room, noticed a couple of bedbugs crawling over me top. Hadn't noticed that before, and with numerous reviews of the hostel complaining about bedbugs this didn't look like a good situation. Miraculously enough though I was now allowed to check in before 4pm; funny how that works. Started ironing, noticed how many seams there were in me shorts, gave up and decided to just throw them out and buy new clothes whilst monitoring the situation of other things such as me rucksack. For those people in DC, NY and back home, I'm pretty sure the bugs were in the chair and not the rug and so haven't gone into me rucksack, but I won't be offended if you demand all my stuff be isolated in dual heavy-duty bin-bags.

Garden District Cemetery

Onto the city itself. Had a walk around the first day while hoping that some CouchSurfing requests would come through before I had to go back to the bedbugs. It's on the water, it's a destination for stag dos, loads of shops selling tat and 'comedy' T-shirts, even more bars with neon lights competing with each other to offer the strongest novelty drink, and a number of strip clubs (3 Hustler clubs within 2 blocks) I've seen this before - Blackpool! Only in Blackpool the alligators have more leathery skin and wear sashes, cackling inanely as they're out on a hen night for the first time in over a decade. Also, the food is far worse in Blackpool.

Once away from Bourbon St. the nightlife becomes much more entertaining (assuming you need more stimulation than a drink in a neon green plastic container and a girl in or out of a bikini). I'm not really a fan of jazz, but some live music with some people swing-dancing makes an amazing atmosphere.

The Spotted Cat

Recently I've been feeling really tired. I just want to go home. There's a slightly different feel to things having stopped cycling - I'm now a tourist rather than a traveler. Not the biggest of differences, but I think subconsciously it makes you think about things in a different way. Going round all these tourist destinations you do the same things each time of seeing the usual suspects (big buildings, monuments, parks, museums, etc.). These places have a nightlife and to not experience it is to miss out on a major tourist activity so you go out for a few drinks every night. It's difficult to get away from the tourist hotspots as having done no research you don't know where the bad areas are or if you'll find what you're looking for even if you do go adventuring. As a break from routine, this is great; you can live the holiday excessive experience. But living it all the time so many things are put on for tourists and it's difficult to find a personal experience. I've talked previously about motel rooms offering the same experience wherever you go, and as an analogy, tourist destinations are the same. There's a lot more variation, but everything is still geared towards taking your money and the same methods are used. I'm really craving my own bed, curled up in a duvet hidden from the drizzle outside (I'm assuming it'll be drizzle back home - it is Manchester), being able to cook something as fancy or simple as I desire and paying for the things I need or want rather than parting with money for things I'm told I want and tipping for the privilege.

Not sure all this quite makes sense, but it's almost there. But rambling done - I've not got the focus or inclination to make it any better. I've got into a better mood than this morning as I've managed to sort out all accommodation to the end of the trip and after seeing nobody for over 4 months I'm hopefully seeing 5 familiar faces before heading home.

If Everything Goes Right, Then Everything Has Gone Wrong

Austin TX

The advice I've been given before is that taking the Greyhound in the North of the US is not so bad, but then in the South it gets horrific. We stopped in the most desolate God-forsaken place in New Mexico, at a combination of laundrette, post office and general store with no sign of the town these services were supplying. The shop was barren and had even less items of nutritional value leading to the beginning of 26 hour's eating of a Mars bar, a pack of Skittles, and a pack of M&Ms. Putting up signs to not put paper towels down the toilet is a good incentive, but needs some work as some people don't understand the difference between paper towels and toilet paper creating a smell wafting from the bin of which the Golgothan shit demon would be proud. Back on the bus, a family had got on having been rejected from an earlier bus due to some dispute about the age of their child or something. The T-Shirt with the cheesy picture of a wolf and fat guy with a Swastika tattooed on his chest pointed to only one thing - rednecks.

After arriving in Austin and meeting me CouchSurfing host it was back onto a bike for the Thursday Night Social Ride; about 100 cyclists cycling around the city in the dark, trying to avoid parked cars, moving cars, street furniture and, more difficultly, each other.

Many people say that Austin is the only good part of Texas and with it being a university town, it's a bit of a party town. Did nothing Friday afternoon (I'm blaming the timezone change as well as the previous night's drinking) but then went out again for the evening. Met a load of Ray's friends and had a few drinks and then went to another bar to experience a bit more of Austin. We went to some bar that's notorious as an easy place to pick up women. Even I had me arse slapped walking through the place and we were only in there for 2 minutes. Straight out of that place and headed next door where there was some live Country music happening - amazing when you're drunk.

In the supermarket attempting to get food, me credit card was declined. Not the end of the world, probably Halifax being a pain in the arse again. Logged into me account and there was no connection to the account: credit N/A, available balance £0, no recent transactions. Weird, but seems as though the system is temporarily down. After a night of drinking logged back on to find that things are back up and normal, except me card's been cleared out to tune of £2000. Card cancelled, I'm now on cash or having a £1.50 charge for each and every transaction.

The weather has continued to be ridiculously hot, but we have had some rain at last. There was a bit of a storm in Flagstaff with it being monsoon season and then we've had a couple in Austin. Still hot and humid, but at least it's a change.

Sunset Tours

As all five of us on the tour group had never had the experience before, we were lined up, had to cover our eyes, and with one hand on the shoulder in front were marched forward like a precession of prisoners. On opening our eyes, we were treated to this sight...

First view

And then once our eyes adjusted and I'd put me shades back on, things looked like this...

First view, once I could see again

And then I looked around and things looked like this...

First view, looking around

The Grand Canyon is immense. We were on a sunset tour so we spent the afternoon going to different spots taking plenty of photos (I was armed with both of my cameras for this trip) before finding a rock above the canyon where we could see the river in two directions, having a beer (the reduced oxygen makes walking uphill extremely tiring, but it also makes you drunk much quicker) and watching the sun set. I also managed to achieve one of my life goals that I never realised I had: having a piss off the sand dunes on West Sands (don't do it into the wind) is pretty liberating, but pissing off the Grand Canyon is just epic.

Not even this picture does the place justice

San Diego

USS Midway, San Diego CA

Let's start off with the good aspects of the St. Christopher International Hostel in San Diego. There was a very relaxed atmosphere where everyone was introduced to one another upon arrival by Juliette, the hostel manager. We were encouraged to bring back beer and wine (no spirits) so we could spend the evening with the other guests learning about each others cultures or playing card based drinking games. This place had the hostel spirit of bringing together people from different backgrounds better than any other hostel I've stayed in.

Balboa Park, San Diego CA

And the not so good? Juliette was incredibly friendly, kind and helpful, but this is not the best thing in the world when you don't want your things washing just before you intend to use them. And the relaxed atmosphere is great for sitting around recovering from the heat and the Greyhound, but not so great when you ask for a sheet for your bed and each time you're told she'll get one for you as soon as the washing's done, and you probably won't need one anyway. Yes the room was dark and at least 30 degrees with no air flow so the temperature isn't a problem, but with no door and 5 other people sharing the room I'd be more concerned about exposing my sweating slumbering body to the rest of the hostel - nobody deserves that. The most obvious negative, obvious once you've been there at least, is that the hostel is on the flight path so every couple of minutes there's a 737 flying at about 30 ft bringing all conversation to a temporary stop. Also, I was staying in the 'African Room'. I think she had another reason to call it that, but she was much more animated in telling the story of the orgies that took place in there when a couple of Nigerian lads stayed. If the stories are to believed, those bunk-beds took a battering.

San Diego itself is an alright place. If you like boats then there's plenty to see down at the harbour and I had an amazingly geeky afternoon aboard the aircraft carrier, USS Midway, sitting in ejector seats and F-4 Phantom cockpits. I also went up to Balboa Park with the intention of going to the world famous zoo. I remember having a CD about San Diego Zoo when I was little, but at $42 I thought it was a bit pricey so just went round the desert garden instead for free. Apparently it's much like any other decent zoo so just image Chester Zoo in 40 degree heat and you're there.

Goodbye dear friends...

There was a sad moment before leaving San Diego as I had to say goodbye to a good friend. Two good friends in truth: my trainers. They were stinking! Plus I'd made my way through most of the sole. They were left with the good people at Sketchers to be incinerated as a biological hazard. This time I've toned down on the colour from yellow to red, but to make up for it I've gone for more colour. You should have seen the yellow ones though - not even I could get away with wearing them.

...and hello to my new obscenely red friends.

Arizona somewhere

Another overnight Greyhound bus trip has got me to Flagstaff AZ. Again, no proper crazies, just a late bus, a border patrol check, and someone who'd just left prison as an initial traveling companion. Traveling across Nevada and Arizona has a similar kind of feel as traveling across Montana, except it's far dustier and there's one or two more cacti.

Today, the washing machine. Tomorrow, the world! Or the Grand Canyon, whichever's easier.

Baghdad By The Bay

San Francisco

I was hoping for great things from San Francisco after hearing so much, and first impressions? Feels like London, smells like Amsterdam. Or at least the commercial bits do anyway. When you get out to the piers, London doesn't have quite so many sea-lions. And speaking of sea-lions, we can briefly bring back the wildlife list which has taken a bit of a break since New York or somewhere as all the wildlife has been the same. But now, much further south and on the Pacific Ocean, we can add sea-lions (have I mentioned that I've seen some sea-lions?) and also some pelicans (bit more of a natural setting than the ones in London). I saw some bison too, but they weren't wild.

Pacific Ocean

For a city that I don't think is very photogenic, somehow I managed to take over 125 pictures which is a lot for me. I went on a walking tour with Wild Wes, went round the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMOMA), but I spent most my time walking around the shoreline or Golden Gate Park as they are massive. Quickly back to SFMOMA and my comparisons of art museums that seems to have become a substantial part of this trip. The Columbus Museum of Art is still easily the best I've seen. SFMOMA like so many other places has an amazing building, a fairly large collection, but being modern art so much of it goes straight over my head and nothing really stood out as being exceptional. I did however manage to complete a game where you have to find clues hidden in pieces of art and then decode the message to find some result. The result in this case was a phone number and with such a crappy phone I didn't find out what that was about. But with a different result, it could be a really good activity to make people more involved in such obscure art.

Some quality scenery to be seen walking around underneath the Golden Gate Bridge and then following the headland for my first proper view of the Pacific Ocean. One hell of a long walk though. There's also a hill on Moraga Street which is less well known than the Twin Peaks, but still some stunning views across the entire city, and when I was up there really shows the strange weather systems that the city can experience.

Looking over San Francisco, Golden Gate Bridge is hidden in the clouds somewhere

Top of hill on Moraga St.

Back on the bus for a relatively short overnight trip down to San Diego. No crazies. No overwhelming smells. Just an absolutely rammed bus. And with it being an Express coach (kind of like 1st class for Greyhound) I thought I'd be able to get some decent sleep. But with the guy next to us encroaching on my seat space (think of when you share a bed with someone, the girl always takes the middle half) and some strange seat design that makes it impossible to rest your head without straining your neck, I got pretty much no sleep. The lack of suspension and the prevalence of bumps and potholes didn't help either. Neither did the condescending driver turning on the lights at half 1 in the morning to wake everyone up for the stop at Burger King.

Golden Gate Bridge

Being driven down the West coast, I've seen a number of places that I would have stayed at had the cycling continued, and from the "comfort" of the bus those places are horrible. Having seen that, and not having a mission to distract me, I really want to come home now. I don't really want to deal with motels, hostels or couches. Once you've seen a place and taken some photos, with nobody to share it with it quickly becomes mundane and the whole experience becomes even more lonely. Hopefully I can see some familiar faces soon and in just over 3 weeks I'll be home again. Cannot wait!

Finally, for anyone adventurous enough to have a Google account and venture into Google+, I've posted a load more photos on there, up to and including San Francisco photos. Link on the right takes you to my profile, and then you should be able to get to my photos from there.

Another One Rides The Bus

Hours without a proper meal: 28 hours.

Those aren't clouds, that's the gunk on the window ruining the view of California

Seattle done, and another 24 hours or so on the Greyhounds. This trip wasn't so bad, although things began with a completely rammed bus sitting next to some hippie who hadn't had a shower for at least 3 days. How did I know this? He told me. Couldn't smell anything over the stench of garlic I think he'd rubbed into his clothes to hide his own smell.

The buses are supposed to stop every couple of hours for a break, but our driver didn't seem to know about this tradition and carried on like a machine for 5 hours straight not letting off the bus for more than 4 minutes and the quickest cigarette smoking ever. Fortunately I think I've cracked the art of sleeping on a bus and was rewarded again with a chin covered in drool. I'm hoping it was mine, but it could quite have easily belonged to the middle aged Hispanic guy I discovered snoring softly on my shoulder at half 5 this morning. Slightly ruined the sunrise over the mountains.

Sleepless

I've still got another night left in Seattle before getting back on the bus, but thought I'd get this written now.

Look Mommy, it's Superman!

Overall impressions of Seattle - small and expensive. You can walk to wherever you need to get to easily enough and pretty much all the attractions are $20 and half the size of places that would be $15 anywhere else.

The best thing I've seen here (other than the Blue Angels turning up again unexpectedly) is EMP Museum. Certain things send a shiver down your spine when you see the scale and atmosphere of something that is truly awesome, and the opening to Thunderstruck by AC/DC being played at Donnington did it for me. I must have spent an hour watching the videos of AC/DC gigs. I also got to indulge my geeky side seeing iconic items such as Captain Kirk's chair, Buffy's Mr Pointy and a dalek (totally ruined by the inevitable "what's a dalek?" being asked by someone walking past). And after the number of kids who've said "Hey look mommy, it's Superman" (or the occasional "Spiderman") as I walk past wearing me Superman hoodie, it was a special thing to see the actual Superman costume from Superman III.

There's one thing in Seattle that really impresses and that's the market. It just keeps going and it's really easy to get lost, but there's loads of really good food and it really made me miss me kitchen. I did however manage to stock up on a stupid amount of fruit which disappeared pretty quick.

Chihuly Garden & Glass

Even when you're only down in Oxfordshire, hearing a northern accent is an amazing thing and you end up gravitating towards that person. So to hear a Mancunian accent on the table next to me in the hostel was an amazing coincidence and we were able to have one of those conversations between strangers that are only completely normal to Northerners - apparently artificial insemination is expensive and difficult to get through all the psychological tests; a much cheaper method of becoming pregnant whilst single involves 2 pints of Stella and a trip to Wetherspoons on a Saturday night.

Change of Transport

After the first of 4 buses to get from Chicago to Seattle, I thought that things were going alright. Second bus though, mother of pearl! All the stories you've heard are true and all the stereotypes justified. We had a guy wearing a denim suit and cowboy hat, some guy complaining about the person behind kicking their seat, a black woman swearing loudly and taking no shit from anyone especially when it concerns being accused of kicking the seat infront, and a hillbilly who seemed to have never left their own town.....

To set the scene, we had a film playing to try and keep the kids on the bus entertained, and we had this episode causing the bus to be pulled over and stopped...

Black Girl: No! Fuck you! I didn't do fucking nothing!
Other Passenger: Language!!!
Black Girl: He started it.
Guy: You shouldn't be kicking my seat.
Driver: We can sort this out now or you can both get off at the next stop.
Hillbilly Woman: THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SOUND!!!!!!!!
Driver: Sounds alright to me.
Hillbilly Woman: THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SOUND!!!!!!!!!!
Driver: Well, what do you want me to do about it? It sounds alright to me and everyone else so there isn't anything I can do.
Hillbilly Woman: I don't know. If you stand here you'll hear that there's something wrong!

Later in the trip and I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between the hillbilly and her fella...

HB: We're going to see your sister!
Fella: Where does my sister live?
HB: errrr.....
Fella: What's my sister's name?
HB: errrr.... One of them is called.... Susan?
Fella: ....
HB: Sandra?
Fella: I only have one sister.
[There was a little more here that I've either forgotten, unintentionally or not it doesn't matter]
HB: We're going to see your mother?!
Fella: No.
HB: .....
Fella: Why are you hung up on female relatives?
HB: I don't know.
Fella: What's the opposite of female?
HB: errrr..... male. We're going to see your brother.
Fella: And what's his name?
HB: errrr.......
Fella: Jeeeeee.....
HB: errrrr.......
Fella: Jeeeeeeeeeee........
HB: Jack?
Fella: Jeeeeeessssss....
HB: errrrr....... Jessie! Yeah, I just forgot for a moment.

Clearly she wasn't all there, but everything she did was annoying. Shouting/screaming at people to wear 'earplugs' when they were playing music, consistent trips up and down the bus to use the toilet despite having only just got back on the bus after a toilet break, repeating whatever she said at increasing volume until someone responded, no consideration towards others and completely selfish. Did I feel bad for thinking this once I found out that she did actually have a brain injury? Nope, not at all - she was bloody annoying.

Some passengers were a good laugh though. Me favourite was the episode near the beginning of the third bus journey as we were trying to get a DVD working...

Driver: Technical assistant to the front please.
[Several people try and fail.]
Driver: If anyone's got a knife they can bring it up to the front, open up the DVD player and prod a few wires. Something's got to work, right?
Random: This guy wouldn't make a very good airline pilot, that's for sure.
Other Random: How much weed do you think it would take to hot-box this bus?

I believe this is somewhere in East Montana

Comparing the bus and the bike? The bus is most definitely faster. The bus is also comfier (Remember that this is a comparative 'comfier' and not in any way 'comfy'). But the bus sucks for taking photos of random scenes you pass and you're always on the wrong side of the bus. As I've mentioned, some of the people can be less than desirable traveling companions (guess who was either a couple of seats away from me or right infront of me for the majority of the trip?). I didn't even know it was possible while sat upright on a coach, and I swear I didn't mean to, but somehow I ended up spooning the woman in the seat next to me. Whether this is a benefit or disadvantage of the Greyhound is up to you. Sleep is quite a disadvantage on the bus. There's no real opportunity to stop at a comfy motel, find somewhere for dinner and get as much rest as you need in a king-size bed. Nope, I managed to sleep on the second night, but it needs some refinement as I'm sure it involved snoring and it definitely involved drooling over myself and the hapless bastard next to me.

Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains

 Scenery though has been amazing, even through the grease and snot covered windows of the bus. More flat farmland on the first day but woke up on the second to find meself on the plains. I've said before that Oxfordshire is flat. I've then been surprised that Ohio and Indiana are even flatter that Oxfordshire. But North Dakota, wow! Insanely flat! And then when you get into Montana, still flat but there're all these hills and rocky outcrops where you can almost see where the glaciers had been. Then you get to the Rocky Mountains; rows of mountains followed by plains. No idea what the bulk of the mountains were like as it was dark and I was drooling soundly, but what was seen was fairly impressive.

And Freudian slip of the week?

Driver: And on your left you'll see the festival 'Testy Festy' beginning. A lot of fun stuff happens at that place, you'll want to take your beads. Not those beads, oh dear. Well, maybe you do, I've heard things can get pretty wild there.

EDIT:
Oh, I forgot something. At one of the bus stations they had the TV on the fine 'History Channel' - a source of factual programs examining some of the most crucial periods of history you may think. Not at around midnight it's not. Even Channel 5 bases some of it's documentaries on research and fact (even if all their programmes are about the Nazis) but History Channel? The History Channel goes with 'Aliens in History' and a look at how Leonardo Da Vinci met and was influenced by aliens. Da Vinci did mirror writing, so obviously mirroring images are important and if you cut the mirrored image vertically through the face and superimpose it on top of the original you come up with an alien face!!!!! The proof is there people!

Windy City

Sue, Field Museum Chicago

Arriving in Chicago I headed over to the hostel to get meself a bed for a few nights. Yeah, didn't go so well, but at least I had something for one night. Without a bed I had to spend the evening trying to find a couch to sleep on so I couldn't really relax and enjoy the city. Next morning I headed off to the aquarium as I've not been to one for a while. Hour and a half queue? Field Museum instead will have to do instead. Fairly decent, but has the kind of normal museum set-up where I just get bored after a little while. Also, for a natural history museum, having a toy of Belle from Beauty & The Beast as an example of a human ("not lifesize") is a pretty poor show.

Went to meet my first host, Andrew, and managed to accomplish a few things. First of all, I got a post onto Craigslist to sell my bike. Second, I got directions to a department store where I could buy new pants, new socks, new shorts, and a new shirt. Finally, I booked a flight home (landing in the not-so-fair city of Manchester on 2nd September). That new sock feeling is just incredible, but to be able to wear clothes that don't hum makes a good change. The bike had interest and was effectively sold within 20 minutes to a guy called Igor who wanted to swap a couple of things round, but the bike itself will be continuing to tour around the States at various times so it's a happy new beginning. With Andrew and my new clothes we headed out to go drinking. $10 for an open bar and 3000 miles to celebrate.

Piece by Roy Lichtenstein

Another day and another host. Met Zach after selling the bike and buying me Greyhound Discovery Pass. One authentic Chicago Deep Dish Pizza later we headed back to his, a little North of Chicago, to meet his cat, dump me bag and then head out to a street festival and to meet a couple of his friends. Grabbed some beers and played a fairly complex game about farming where myself and another newcomer to the game were well and truly trounced despite our more diverse and prosperous farms.

Time for another art museum comparison, and this time it's the world renowned Art Institute of Chicago. Incredible building, great collection, still not as good as the Columbus Art Museum. Maybe it's just the size of the collection and the need to show it that takes precedence over coming up with ways in which it can be interacted with?

After a spot of rock climbing (my phobia of heights is just getting worse) a few more beers, and being woken up at 6:15 am it was time to leave Chicago. Coming up soon: The Greyhound Diaries.